Is that?
by LillianLuthor
Summary: Lex's reading material peaks Clark's curiosity. [Clex]


Title: Is that...?

Fandom: Smallville

Pairing: Clark/Lex (is there any other?)  
Rating: PG-13? I was slashing Sailor Moon when I was 13, so what do I know?  
Author: Lillian Luthor  
E-mail: issokyahoo.com  
Feedback: sure, I'm a bitch for it... I'll even settle for flames if you have nothing good to say  
Archive: if you care enough to want it, you have it. just let me know, or whatever...

Disclaimer: they're not mine, nothing this pretty has ever been mine... I'm just borrowing, in an amateur and unprofitable kind of way.

Ps. Whitney is alive here, because I like Whitney. So there.

--o--

"...and then I tried to fix it, but it would only get worse... I was starting to get desperate, not knowing what to do with it, and I was running out of time... I had to get out of there or everything would be lost, but I just couldn't make it on time..." suddenly Lana's voice stopped, and when Clark looked up at her face he was met by a slightly annoyed expression "Clark? Are you even listening to me?"

"Sure, Lana, you were telling me about the way your make up got smudged in the spring formal, and you had to fix it back before anyone noticed. I was listening" he assured her halfheartedly, knowing she knew he hadn't been listening to a word of what she'd said in the last couple of minutes. And seriously, could anyone blame him? She was talking about make-up emergency!

"Right..." she rolled her eyes, looking somewhat annoyed yet obviously still trying to be nice about it "Listen, I really like you Clark..." _uh oh_ "but frankly, it makes me kind of uncomfortable when you do this. You know I am with Whitney, and he makes me fell safe..."

__

Blah blah blah. He knew this part. This was when Lana thought he was so in love with her he enjoyed sitting there, listening to her voice and daydreaming about a fairy-tale-like relationship with her. Then she reminded him that she was flattered he liked her, but she loved Whitney and could never hurt him. He was thinking about middle east conflicts.

"Yeah, ok, sorry Lana" he said when he considered she was done with her speech "A guy can dream..." he added for extra irony points before walking away. He didn't know _where_ his crush on Lana had gone, but he presumed it was a faraway land where it didn't have to listen to her talk about fashion. And with her fashion sense! _Oh, the irony!_ Maybe Lex would be free, and they could shoot some pool and _not_ talk about cheap evening gowns and pastel eye shadow.

--o--

The first thing he noticed when he walked into the room was that Lex was not there; at least, not his mind. He was sitting on his couch, an untouched snifter of brandy in one hand and a book on his lap, his other hand resting laxly on top of it; he was staring into nothingness, his eyes dreamy and an almost-smile curving his lips. For once he looked strangely relaxed and at peace, and even if Clark wanted to know what was in Lex's mind, to disturb him seemed almost a sacrilege.

He just stood there, until eventually Lex looked up and noticed him, greeting him with one of those smiles he hardly ever wore in public. He smiled back.

"Clark, come on in. How long have you been standing there?" he asked with curiosity, depositing the snifter on the coffee table

"Just a second" he admitted, dropping his backpack on the floor and himself on the couch next to Lex "You seemed distracted and I didn't want to disturb you..."

"Nonsense, Clark, you could never disturb me" Lex assured him "I was just trying to take my mind off work for a minute before I went insane with it"

"Well, it seemed to have worked" he laughed "You were in Nirvana"

"It was nothing, Clark" Lex insisted, a little too emphatically for it to ring true, but Lex had a right to his own private thoughts, even if Clark didn't think it was fair "I was just thinking about this book I'm reading..."

"Oh, ok..." he said, even if he didn't believe it for a minute "What are you reading?"

"Oh, it's just..." Lex gestured vaguely, suddenly stopping in mid-sentence as noticed something about the book's cover; he probably hadn't even looked at the book "I... should probably put this away" he started, trying to casually hide the book from Clark's line of sight

"Lex, you can show me, or I can take it from you..." he offered calmly, because if Lex didn't want him to see, it was probably worth seeing

"You will not!" Lex snorted "Clark, if you as much as stare, I will take drastic measures..."

"Threats, threats..." he grinned "Come on, it can't be that terrible..." then it hit him; he had caught Lex with it about a moth ago "It's Little Women again, isn't it?"

"Yeah, you win, it's Little Women. Now drop it" Lex admitted, _all too willingly_

"You're so full of it" he shook his head in disbelief "If it _were_ Little Women you wouldn't have confessed so readily. I'm going to have to wrestle you for it, aren't I?"

"I highly advice you against it, Clark" Lex said with all the dignity of the business tycoon he was, while hiding the book behind his back like a three-year-old "I can very well assure you it will be embarrassing..."

And of course, Lex knew it was coming. So he shouldn't have looked so surprised, with that deer-in-the-headlights expression you wouldn't catch him dead with, when he tackled him. It was inevitable, like an earthquake, or a monsoon. It was also so damn funny he couldn't stop laughing for a while, and definitely though he was never going to stop at all, until he found himself straddling Lex's legs and with the offending book open in his hands.

"Uh, Lex?" he asked uncertainly, all traces of laugher suddenly gone "Are you reading the Gay Kama Sutra?"

"I wasn't as much reading it as I was watching the pictures..." Lex sighed in defeat "I _told_ you it was bound to be embarrassing..."

"I thought you meant embarrassing for you!" he exclaimed, his eyes glued to the pages even as he tried to will them away

"Well, for what it's worth, I _am_ embarrassed" Lex assured him, then paused for a second before he continued "Clark? Shouldn't you be indignant, or irate, or at least mildly disturbed?"

"What?" he asked, absently flipping through the pages with a look of disbelief in his enormous eyes

"You're still pretty much on top of me..." Lex supplied helpfully, and at that he blushed ferociously and scrambled to his feet, book in hand

"Oh, sorry" he stammered awkwardly "Um, you know, I'm kind of used to manhandling you... I never knew you were, you know, _gay_"

"Yeah, about that..." Lex sighed "Look Clark, you're taking this remarkably well. Since you're apparently _not_ going to storm out of here and come back with a lynching mob, I guess I should ask you if you're alright, and if there is anything you would like to ask me..."

"Um, yeah" he said uncomfortably "Can you _really_ do that?"

"Certainly. I would show you, but then that would probably be pushing my luck" Lex smirked, noticing his evasiveness "Clark, are you sure you don't want to talk about this? I really don't want this to come in the way of our friendship..."

"No, I'm fine, really..." he assured him, sounding really _oh so mature_ while babbling like an idiot "Maybe I should, you know, go home... I promise I'm not mad, and we're ok" he insisted, seeing Lex's almost scared look. But he had to go. It was Twilight-zonish enough as it was, and he _didn't_ really need Lex knowing he was kind of turned on by those pictures in the first place. He just had to get out of there before his head exploded. Either one.

--o--

It took a little over week for things to mildly resemble normalcy again. After the incident, Clark had refused to let his confused feelings about the matter drive a breach between his best friend and him, so he had continued to drop by as assiduously as before, although with less satisfying results. The first visit had been a marvelous example of combined denial, in which both of them had joked around normally while carefully avoiding to meet each other's eyes.

The second visit had been just as strained, until Lex had had enough of it and decided that Clark should either voice his doubts and questions, or get out. _Always so nice, Lex_. Of course he had been right, and after a thoroughly embarrassing conversation things has started looking up again. Then there had been a few accommodation days, in which talks about certain subjects had been uncomfortable, and eventually things had settled well.

It was in that spirit that they were presently watching a movie, something silly and mass-marketed which Lex insisted was a pathetic piece of evidence of how western culture was on the downfall. Clark would have though it was funny, if he had been paying attention. Which he wasn't. However, it was a good excuse to keep to himself while he put together what he had been meaning to ask Lex for a while. When the credits started rolling, he went for it.

"Lex?" he asked, his voice sounding almost like a whine even to himself

"Yeah?" Lex replied, giving him his full attention as he turned on the couch to face him

"Have you ever fantasized about me?" he asked, kind of intimidated by the amount of attention deposited on him but determined to rid himself of his doubts

"No" came the instant reply, almost too instant, like a conditioned reflex

"Oh" he said, because _what else could he say?_

"Clark..." Lex's voice broke through the thick silence eventually, when it became obvious he wasn't going to say anything else "Correct me if I'm wrong, and I must be, but it almost sounds like you're _disappointed_ by this?"

"No, it's okay, I mean..." he didn't know what to say to _that_, or if he _should_ say anything, and he was probably making a fool of himself, toying with his fingers and purposefully avoiding Lex's eyes "It's just... I kind of have" he admitted finally

"Say again?" Lex asked, sounding incredibly shocked for Lex, which was probably not a good sign

"You have to promise you won't be mad, okay?" he pleaded, looking up to meet Lex's eyes, which were sporting an expression he could not classify; and he was a Lex expert "It's just, you're my best friend, you know, and best friends should be able to tell each other stuff like this, and I don't really have anyone else to tell this anyway..."

"Clark! Stop!" Lex interrupted his babbling, looking like he was about to slap him if he didn't shut up "I promise I won't be mad, just... tell me. It's probably completely innocent, and you're making a big deal out of it because of what you've only just learnt about me"

"Ok" he sighed, taking a big gulp of air in search for courage; it didn't work "I dreamt of you, er, _suckingmeoff_"

"What?" Lex asked confused

"Sucking me off" he repeated, ducking his head as the blush crept irremediably to his face

"Oh" was all Lex said for a while "Ok, I take back the 'completely innocent' part" he finally added, sounding not very sure of _what_ exactly was going on; hell if _he_ knew "What exactly...?"

"Lex!" he snapped "There was my dick, and your mouth, and they were doing stuff together!" he whined; _was Lex purposely making this difficult for him?_ "And then I sucked you off... and apparently I liked it, because I ended up doing laundry at four a.m." There. He had said it. Of course Lex was not saying anything back, and that was kind of unnerving.

"Lex?" he asked timidly, but his friend just sat there looking shocked "Lex, please say something... I've never seen you at a lose for words, and frankly it's disturbing"

"It's not as much that I'm at a lose for words, as that I don't think there's anything I _can_ say that won't sound either complacent or lewd" Lex finally said "And lewd is definitely getting the best of me" he chuckled, perhaps a bit nervously. He seriously considered leaving it at that, but in the end couldn't.

"So, what do you think?" he insisted

"I think there's something to be said about Kansas farm-boy's wholesomeness" Lex joked, managing to make him smile as well "but other than that, I really don't know _what_ you want me to say" his friend confessed "Really, psychology isn't my strongpoint... schizophrenic and all that"

"Don't say that!" he interrupted him, _hating_ it when Lex put himself down "You're not crazy, Lex"

"A board of psychiatric expert would disagree with you, Clark, but thanks for the vote of confidence" Lex smiled, looking up at him with a thankful expression "But back on topic, you really shouldn't make a big deal of this, Clark. I'm sure it can happen to any healthy, manly Kansas farmer once in a lifetime and not mean anything in the larger scheme of things..."

"Yeah, about that..." he interrupted Lex before he could finish the thought, regretting it instantly when he was met by nothing but an awkward silence for quite a few seconds

"Not just once, then?" Lex finally said, and _was that a smirk?_ "Listen, Clark, it's alright..." he seemed to consider for a minute "Okay, it's not _really_ alright, since this is Kansas and all" he rectified, earning a weak smile from Clark "...and it's probably illegal to even dream about it, but you know my meaning" there was a brief pause in which Lex seemed to be absorbing the information, then he spoke again "Have you ever consciously thought about another guy, in that way?"

"Uh, I guess" he admitted "Not _exactly_ like that until a few nights ago, but you know, I think I kind of have a crush on this guy I know..."

"Oh?" Lex asked, looking somewhat unwillingly hopeful "How about Lana?"

"I don't know... she's pretty, I guess. It's just, you know, she doesn't _do_ much for me... and she's just dull, and wears so much _pink_" he sighed, _what was he saying?_ "I guess I just didn't know what it was like to really like someone until I met this guy, so I thought, you know... she's still pretty" he offered helpfully, hoping that Lex could just shoot him and put him out of his misery before he embarrassed himself any more; the bullet would probably bounce

"Does that mean we don't have to talk about Lana anymore?" Lex finally said, after a few seconds of consideration "Well, I always _did_ wonder about those Spice Girls tapes you kept hidden under the couch in your barn..." Lex admitted, sounding wistful and absolutely triumphing in alleviating the mood

"You nosy bastard! My mom bought those for me when I was a kid!" he said defensively, although very grateful for the change of topic

"Yes, denial is a beautiful thing..." Lex laughed "Next thing, you'll be telling me they had good songs..."

"Well, they _did_" he insisted "I should have never told you this! You're evil!"

"I am, but you were still right about telling me" Lex assured him, the smile playing on his lips

"Yeah? So you can amuse yourself?"

"No" Lex replied, and suddenly he was not joking anymore, and he was looking at Clark with _that_ look "Because if you hand't told me, I would have probably never done this..."

And before Clark could even know what hit him Lex was kissing him, and it was soft and reverent and like nothing he'd ever felt before, and then Lex's tongue was carefully probing his lips, and he opened up for it, and it was incredibly right to have Lex kissing him like this, and putting his arms around him like this and pulling him closer, and then keep on kissing until it turned really hot and they _had_ to break apart for air, both of them panting. It was one hell of a first kiss.

"What was that for?" he asked when he finally managed to control his breathing

"Had to make sure you really liked guys, you know... for strictly scientific purposes" Lex assured him "So, about this guy you have a crush on..."

"It's you" he said before Lex could even finish his sentence, and was gifted with a bright smile from his friend

"Good" Lex said approvingly "I'd hate to think you'd go around making out with anyone who asked"

"You didn't ask..." he had to point out

"I didn't have to, I'm a Luthor" Lex informed him "Now, I think you _did_ ask something earlier on about me fantasizing about you..."

"Yeah?" he asked hopefully

"Let me show you..."


End file.
